Author: Good Gops

As I sit here waiting on more updates on the post production of act 2 of  our movie, I Had a Bloody Good Time at House Harker, I was thinking about Schrodinger’s Cat. If you’re unfamiliar with it, click the wikipedia link in the previous sentence. If you’re too lazy, it’s basically about a cat in a box (not a dick in a box), that is considered both dead and alive until the box is opened. However, there are some features to this, wherein there is a vial of radiation and some poison, so at some point the cat will undoubtedly be dead, but you dont know for sure until the box is opened, and the exact state is known.

Get it? Kind of? Stop browsing reddit and go read a book! unless of course you subscribe to /r/books.

Back to the thought while everyone else is toiling away on act 2. If you have a vampire in a coffin with a vial of  blood in a bottle, garlic and some stakes, is it dead or alive? Or is it neither? Because vampires are considered the undead. Or both? Since they are essentially the walking dead. Then what does it mean to be alive? Aside from the philosophical questions of life, and the lame answer of neither, let’s assume that a vampire is considered to be alive until they are killed in a typical manner.

Let’s assume a control for the experiment, such as the coffin is located in a permanently dark room, since we all know that if a vampire is exposed to sunlight, they’ll just burn away. Yes, I said burn! Not shimmer or glimmer in the light, and even though they are like 900 years old, they still attend high school! BUUUURRRNNNN!!!! Like a marshmallow stuck in a campfire kind of burn, without the gooey delicious center. Unless you’re into that sort of thing. and if you are, give us ring!

Another control is that the coffin itself cannot be opened from the inside. let’s say that it’s both nailed shut and there are crosses carved on the inside everywhere, except where the vampire is laying down. Also, the top of the coffin is lined with a stakes that can be dropped down to stab the vampire.

So now we have a vampire, in a dark room, that can’t be opened from the inside. In addition to the coffin, there is a bottle feeder full of blood, that is easily reachable with his mouth, but can only be drunk when he sucks it down. However, with each sip, the stakes above him begin to get closer to him. what a twist!

And the garlic? aside from making the coffin smell a bit better, i mean, who doesnt like garlic roasted vampire? The garlic fumes will permeate the coffin to the point where he can no longer breathe and cause him to convulse in such a way that he’d inevitably break the bottle and stab himself, or touch the crosses and then stab himself. The stakes are high if he convulses.

So now I ask you the fatal burning question…

what color is the wallpaper?

Seriously though, the real answer is…why the F$&% would you open a vampire coffin to find out!?!?! Seriously! there’s a vampire. IN. The coffin! are you trying to end the world? It ain’t gonna be no shimmering pedophile-like Edward just looking to score some high school ass and learn algebra, regardless of what you’ve read or seen. It’s going to be a blood sucking, eternity living, pale looking, killing machine. GTFO of there! Shit, if I were you, i’d jostle the damn coffin to ensure that it’s dead. Then drop it in a pool of holy water after fire roasting it on a bed of garlic with a long ass stake through it like a vampire kabob.

Schrodinger’s vampire…F&^% that noise!

Time to get back to work.

now go see what we’ve been working so hard on at househarker.com. and if you’re in the LA are this weekend, and want to be in the movie for a scene we’re shooting, become a backer at our Kickstarter and we’ll send you details. Even if you pledge $1, you’ll still get to come out and hang out with the crew and some special guests.

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Kickstarter…the venerable crowdfunding platform, has selected us as a staff pick! We’ve still got about 3 weeks to go to raise the funds to make our movie bloodier and downright goodier. So join the fun and become a backer today, so you can have access to some special updates, like our very own Derek, aka Perkins, do his patent pending Airclap dance. It’s the dance of the future!

Join the fun!

House Harker Kickstarter

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To all of our fans, we’re sorry for the long hiatus between updates, but we’ve been extremely busy prepping, shooting, and now editing our first feature film! Look at the trailer and kickstarter video above.

bloodysnow

For the last few months, we’ve put our lovely crew through some hardships, such as the surprise polar vortex (times 3!) that hit us and dumped multiple feet of snow, where locals had insisted us Angeleno’s brought the cold with us (do they not know anything about LA?), to having to deal with driving across country in stink-ridden cars. And that was just the first week! There were also some who insisted on cannonball-ing after the shoot in frigid temperatures, so they can make it back on time for the holidays and spend it with their families. Some people are so whiny. We’re lookin’ at you Sledge! Let’s just say it took about a couple of weeks to get the smell out of the car. Of course we also had fun during the long hours of shooting and clearing the sets because someone, who shall remain nameless, wants to use a lens that shows the entire universe for every. Single. Shot! Damn you Tokina!

So what’s the movie about? sorry, it’s not a feature with your favorite GoodCops, but that’s coming soon…ish.

Our first feature is a horror comedy where we bring the scare back in vampires. The com in comedy. The hor…ahem, in horror. And it’s called, I Had a Bloody Good Time at House Harker, and you can view the trailer along with our kickstarter plea over at www.HOUSEHARKER.com, or click on either above or below to view it here.

Here’s the basic rundown:

In order to save a home that has been in their family for generations, two awkward brothers and their idiot friend hire a vampire-actor to scare the town. Things get crazy when the “vampire” turns out to be the real thing.

Many of you will recognize some of your favorite cops, and there are some surprise guests as well. We’re asking you, our awesome fans, to share and pledge if you can, so we can make the movie, bloodier, colorful-er, soundier, musicier, and other post production lingo that turns a film into a KICKASS MOVIE!

Here’s the video below (again) and don’t forget to let your friends know, or else we’re going to put an APB on that ass!

www.HOUSEHARKER.com – the only indie movie where loads of money was spent to create blizzard style conditions…just to mess with the crew.

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